A Case for Not Commenting on People’s Weight Loss
Complimenting someone on their weight loss is widely thought to be a positive thing. However, friendly remarks about others’ bodies aren’t always in their best interest. While some people actively take steps to shed weight, many people lose weight due to an eating disorder, depression, a chronic health issue, or a traumatic event. In such cases, saying things like, “You look better than before. Have you been working out?” or “Wow, you look amazing. Did you lose weight?” could be triggering.
Praising a person for looking slimmer can also reinforce harmful notions about body image. Thus, understanding that commenting on someone’s body can sometimes do more harm than good is crucial to being mindful, respectful, and supportive. This guide makes a case for not commenting on people’s weight loss. Read until the end for valuable insights into daily scenarios.
Why Complimenting Weight Loss Can Be Harmful
Weight loss, whether intentional or unintentional, is a personal journey. You don’t know the struggles someone might be going through or has gone through, which may directly or indirectly relate to their weight. Since society wrongly equates thinness with health and attractiveness, you may think your compliment comes from a good place, but that’s not always true.
So, long story short: don’t comment on weight loss! Here are some reasons why the seemingly simple act of complimenting weight loss can perpetuate harmful beliefs. Let’s dive in.
Reinforces Harmful Beauty Standards
Today’s beauty standards are problematic for many reasons. Although many people talk about body positivity, much of the population still equate being overweight with unattractiveness and thinks that being skinny is better. So, when someone loses weight, these preconceived notions automatically lead to the assumption that it must be a good thing. Exposure to thin-ideal media has already fuelled body dissatisfaction and low self-esteem on a global scale. When we also compliment people around us on looking better after losing some pounds, harmful beauty standards are further reinforced and upheld.
Assumes Weight Loss is Intentional or Positive
Not everyone looking thin is aiming for it. They could be dealing with chronic health conditions like diabetes, cancer, hyperthyroidism, Crohn’s disease, or mental health disorders like depression or anxiety. More often than not, health issues take a physical and psychological toll. If you compliment someone under a false belief, you can unintentionally add to their emotional distress.
Places Value on Appearance Over Well-Being
Associating weight loss with health and attractiveness is a harmful assumption, as it places value on appearance rather than an individual’s overall well-being. Compliments that ignore this fact could end up exacerbating a person’s mental, physical, and emotional struggles. Therefore, it is always a good idea to ask someone how they are doing rather than assuming and asking them directly if they have lost weight.
The Mental Health Impact of Weight-Related Comments
If someone is facing a health issue and/or your know they’re undergoing depression treatment in Chicago or elsewhere, complimenting them on looking thinner can be insensitive and tactless. You can cross a line unknowingly and impact a person’s mental health––even your relationship with them––which is why understanding how weight-related comments can do more harm than good is important.
Can Trigger or Worsen Disordered Eating
Do you know that one in three dieters progress to pathological dieting, causing 20% of them to develop eating disorders? Thus, with your compliments, you might accidentally encourage someone with an eating disorder or body image issues to keep following their disordered patterns. This further fuels the negative cycle related to body image.
Affects Self-Worth and Mental Health
Body dissatisfaction is one of the strongest predictors of anxiety and depression in today’s aesthetics-obsessed culture. When weight is a focus, people can develop low self-esteem and negative self-worth. Rather than making people hyperfocus on their bodies, you can compliment them in a kinder, more empathetic way that applies to broader aspects of life.
Perpetuates a Culture of Body Surveillance
Many people who have their weight loss complimented feel they are being scrutinized. It gives rise to body surveillance, making individuals feel they are the center of attention and need to monitor their appearance. Weight-focused conversations increase body dissatisfaction, particularly in young adults and teenagers.
Alternative Ways to Compliment and Support
If you genuinely want to compliment someone, think beyond weight loss! Here are some ways you can give non-appearance-based compliments and show compassion.
Focus on Non-Physical Traits
Develop the habit of appreciating people’s qualities, such as their resilience, creativity, intelligence, and kindness. Instead of saying, “You look great after weight loss,” you can try, “I love your energy and vibe.”
Practice Mindful Communication
Words hold a lot of power; use them wisely, especially when you meet someone and notice a change in their body. Be mindful, and don’t reinforce harmful body or beauty standards. Don’t comment on someone’s body size or health. Ask how they are and how they are feeling, or ask questions that focus on their personality.
Support a Culture of Body Neutrality
Become respectful and kind by supporting a culture of body neutrality, which means not focusing on a person’s body size or shape. Talk about wellness and mental health to encourage self-care behaviors in yourself and others. The key is to be mindful, supportive, and empathetic in all your conversations.
Conclusion
Most of us are conditioned to think that weight-related compliments are always positive. However, no matter how well-intentioned they may be, these compliments can have insidious effects and conform to society’s warped view of weight loss and beauty. If you want to say something nice, say it responsibly. Focus on a person’s personality, well-being, and inner qualities rather than just the outside appearance. This way, you can hold meaningful and compassionate conversations that encourage self-acceptance and body neutrality.


